INSTANTLY REGULATE EMOTIONS

3 steps to calm your body and mind when stress takes over

Life has a way of throwing us into states of overwhelm. Whether it’s a sudden surge of frustration, anxiety, or just feeling stuck in a moment of stress, it’s easy to spiral from “naught to fraught” before you even realize it. But the good news is, there are tools you can use to stop that spiral, regulate your emotions, and bring yourself back to balance. One of the simplest and most powerful of these tools is deep breathing.
During a recent session, I worked with someone who struggled to regain control in the heat of the moment. We explored three practical strategies that can instantly shift your state: a stop signal, a distraction, and deep breaths. Here, I’ll share what we discussed and how you can use these techniques to calm your body and mind when stress takes over.

1. The Stop Signal: Breaking the Cycle. The first step is recognizing when you're overwhelmed and giving yourself permission to pause. A stop signal is a simple way to interrupt the fight, flight, or freeze response. It could be a physical gesture, like holding up your hand, or a verbal cue, like saying “Stop” aloud. This momentary pause helps create a gap between the trigger and your reaction, allowing you to regain control.

2. The Power of Distraction. Once you’ve paused, a distraction can help shift your focus and create a break in the emotional intensity. Distractions don’t have to be complicated; they just need to redirect your attention long enough for your nervous system to reset. Here are two examples:

• Magic Birds: When my boys were younger and on the brink of a meltdown, my wonderful mum would suddenly exclaim, “Oh look, you missed the magic bird!” This simple statement sent them rushing to the window, their curiosity replacing their frustration. It’s a reminder of how quickly our focus can shift when we engage our imagination.
• Cool Calm: Running your hands under cold water is another quick way to ground yourself. The sensation activates your body’s parasympathetic nervous system, which helps reduce stress. While doing this, you can use your imagination to transport yourself to a calm, cool place—like standing by a peaceful waterfall or walking barefoot on a shady forest path.
  
  

3. Deep Breathing: Your Instant Reset Button. Of all the tools we discussed, deep breathing is perhaps the most universally accessible and effective. Taking slow, intentional breaths can instantly calm your nervous system and shift you out of fight, flight, or freeze mode. One specific technique I recommend is loop breathing, which I’ve detailed on my website here: Free Healing Resources

Here’s how you can try it:

1. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of three.
2. Hold your breath gently for a count of four.
3. ​Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of ten.
4. Do not take the natural pause that our bodies automatically do.
5. ​Immediately repeat the in breath and slow out breath.
6. Repeat loop for 5 times, focusing on the rhythm and sensation of your breath.
7. After 5 loops, take a natural breath.
8. Repeat with another 5 loops if you need to.
9. Can boost this exercise by imagining you are somewhere calm and peaceful.
   
   

This rhythmic breathing pattern helps regulate your heart rate, lower cortisol levels, and create a sense of calm in just a few moments.

Why These Techniques WorkWhen you're in a heightened emotional state, your body’s stress response is in full swing. Your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes shallow, and your brain focuses on perceived threats. Techniques like stop signals, distractions, and deep breathing work because they:

• Interrupt the stress response.
• ​Engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation.
• Provide your mind with an anchor, helping to ground you in the present moment.
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Take Control of Your StateThe next time you find yourself spiraling into stress, remember that you have the power to take control. A simple pause, a playful distraction, or a few deep breaths can make all the difference. These techniques aren’t just about managing emotions; they’re about reclaiming your ability to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
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Give them a try, and notice how even small shifts can lead to a profound sense of calm. You deserve to feel grounded and in control—no matter what life throws your way.