Understanding the Warning Signs of Inauthenticity in a Relationship
It’s comes up time & time again and this week in the Love Reiki Healing Hut has been no exception - relationships, of all sorts, be it friendships, family members, work colleagues, that feel untruthful, unfair, one sided, coercive, manipulative, uncaring
Whatever happened to the old adage - ‘don’t to others what you wouldn’t like done to you’?
This week’s blog post discusses the feeling of unauthentic relationships, and raises the question.. should this behaviour be called out?
Relationships are a Basic Human Need
Relationships play a critical role in our lives as human beings. They provide us with a sense of belonging, security, and support, as well as opportunities for growth, learning, and personal development. If you take a look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs you can see how relationships are important on so many levels.
Aside from procreation, one of the primary reasons relationships are so important to human beings is because they fulfil our fundamental need for connection and intimacy. From an evolutionary perspective, humans have evolved to live and thrive in social groups, and our relationships with others have helped us to survive and thrive over the centuries.
In addition to fulfilling our basic needs, relationships also provide us with a sense of identity. Through our interactions with others, we develop a sense of who we are and what we stand for. Our relationships help to shape our beliefs, values, and behaviours, and they provide us with a sense of purpose and meaning.
Relationships can also serve as a source of support and stability in our lives, providing us with emotional and practical assistance in times of need, and they can help us to cope with life's challenges and difficulties. Whether it's a close friend, a romantic partner, or a family member, having supportive relationships can make a significant difference in our overall wellbeing.
What About When Relationships Feel Inauthentic?
Relationships can feel inauthentic for a variety of reasons, for example:
How Might These Things Make You Feel?
When relationships feel inauthentic, it can bring a range of negative emotions and experiences. Some common feelings include:
So Should You Raise It With The Other Side?
Whether or not to "call out" inauthentic behaviour is a personal decision that can depend on a variety of factors, such as the nature of the relationship, the situation, and the individual's own comfort level. Here are some things to consider:
What Positive Are There?
If raising your feelings leads to a positive outcome thats great, and you can feel more confident that the relationship is two-way and strong!
However if it results in your having to step step away from an inauthentic relationship then this can be a difficult and challenging experience, but it can also bring about many positive feelings and benefits.
What Does A Genuine Relationship Look Like?
So now we've established the nature of inauthentic relationships and how to navigate these, let us take a look at the positives. Genuine relationships, authentic relationships, true relationships, good relationships.. are all achievable, and can be nurtured and cherished when you make space for them, what do these look like?
By taking control, doing what’s right for you, even if the outcome isn't as you hoped for, you will realise that you have choices, that you have your own power, and that you are in fact behaving as your own best friend. It is at these times, when you are being authentic with yourself that you will find authentic relationships too.
I am a firm believer that closing one door leaves space for new things. So if a relationship isn't genuine why are you spending time trying to force it? When we make space new things always appear, Personally, I have experienced this may times myself, and clients regularly share examples of how new things have come to them when they let go of a tight hold on relationships that no longer make them happy.
The most important thing is to be authentic with yourself! With the right help, support and mindset, you can heal, grow, and build a more fulfilling and authentic life for yourself that brings genuine relationships and happiness.
Life is so much simpler when you do whats right for you